My Pattern Fellows Experience

Sunday, August 9th, 2020

Leading up to the beginning of our class last October, it seems I kept bumping into Pattern Fellows Alumni. Every one of them with an impressive resume, a leader in our community. They would knowingly smile as I was heading towards my own fellowship experience and say, “You’ll love it.” Every one of them.

I had no idea what to expect at our first meeting of The Pattern Fellows. I remember coming in and being warmly welcomed by the industrious Robin DeGroat, and all of the polite introductions between classmates as we waited for that first session to begin. Remember handshakes? There were a lot of those.

The legendary Jonathan Drapkin came in and introduced himself, then gave us a brief overview of what our theme would be for this class: “Us vs Them.”

His first words still resonate – “Words count. Context matters. Find common ground.”

We went around the room and introduced ourselves – mid-career professionals and leaders from across the Hudson Valley – bankers, lawyers, health care professionals, municipal and chamber leaders, and non-profit professionals.

Over the next few months we took deep dives into what creates conflict, finding common ground, negotiation techniques, and explored world conflicts with Dr. Joshua Weiss, co-founder of the Global Negotiation Initiative at Harvard University. We watched a documentary series titled “Why We Hate” – which I highly recommend. It’s tough to watch, but so very worth it.

I learned so much.

By December we were identifying our group projects – local conflicts that we could study and develop a framework to navigate: Millennials versus Boomers in the workplace, the Hasidic community versus the broader Hudson Valley community, and Gentrification in Beacon: locals versus newcomers. We began working in our groups, spending time exploring the issues that arise as these communities intermingle looking for the common ground to create opportunities for connection.

And then, everything changed.

By mid-March everything ground to a total and complete standstill as we all faced COVID-19, this global pandemic that hit New York City and the Hudson Valley of New York with such ferocity in March and April. I think in mid-March, we may have collectively believed that the Pause would be a couple of weeks, but as time passed it became more evident that this would be a much longer term event for us.

Like everything else in our lives, we weren’t exactly sure what to do with the Fellows Program at that point. Do we attempt to continue meeting in a virtual space? Do we continue work on our group projects? How would we manage the logistics of that? Should we shift and find a new project? Do we even have the capacity for that during a global pandemic? Are we really even asking these questions right now?? Will we still have jobs? How will we balance distance learning for our children and working remotely? When can we see our parents, our siblings, our grandparents? Will we get COVID? Will our parents get COVID?? Will we be OK? Where can we get flour and toilet paper??

Should we just suspend the class?

In April, we met virtually via Zoom to check in – we all showed up. The conversation was so heavy. We went around the group and talked briefly about our experiences so far. So much uncertainty, so much fear. But, also such a relief to share this experience as a collective.

Ultimately, our class wanted to stay connected, these real conversations felt so beneficial during such intense isolation. It was so good to hear how others were doing, what they were seeing from their various perspectives and industries, how they were coping. So, like everyone and everything else, we pivoted.

We scrapped our group projects – recognizing that our primary focus should be on getting through this historical experience – and decided to meet weekly via Zoom. Our new project would be to create a time capsule of our experiences through the Pause. Jonathan led the discussion each week asking important and encouraging questions – questions one may not think to ask themselves when the world feels like it’s on fire. Questions to explore the experience in a different way, “What are you enjoying? What do you miss? What new routines would you keep? Who do you talk to the most? Who have you talked to whom you haven’t in a long time as a result of this? What would you have done differently in your life?”

We recorded each session and continued meeting, just as we were meant to, until the end of May. We had nearly perfect attendance every single week. We cried together, worried together, encouraged one another and even laughed together, too. At the end, we compiled the clips together to create a beautiful commentary on our collective experience during this pandemic and shared it at our “quarantine style” virtual graduation on June 9^th.

I had no idea what to expect at our first meeting of The Pattern Fellows. What I gained was incredible insights about conflict and negotiation and finding common ground, as well as strength and confidence to encounter challenges that I might have shied away from prior to that. We practiced resilience together and shared real, authentic bonds as we navigated an unprecedented experience. We were privy to unique observations – perspectives that we may not have had access to otherwise – through all of this. And that says a lot about this incredible program. When faced with the tough realities of the past few months, we practiced the stuff that makes great leaders: authenticity, adaptability, resilience, resourcefulness, open-mindedness, compassion, and perseverance. I am so very proud to be a Pattern Fellow and I am so excited to welcome this new class of emerging leaders into The Pattern Fellows Program.